If your reading this you already know the locks were changed on the front door, so sit down on the patio lounge, and I’ll try to be quick as the back one is also new. Your Mom left you a cooler and some snacks alongside, along with a blanket. The blanket if your stoned or drunk/high and can’t drive tonight, will keep you warm.
Mom left the back curtain open, and the good old hallway light so you could see inside . Yes your seeing fine, everything’s gone. Don’t worry, your stuff is safe, and already set up for you in the new place. Your new bachelor pad. You lucky dog, I remember mine as if it was yesterday. No Dad or Mom setting some kind of a curfew, rules to follow, for a full grown man anymore.
You talked us into it, why did we argue over your choices, we agree it’s time to give you your way. A new bachelor and a winner! Good times ahead for us all. You know how controlling your Mom and I can be when you wake us up at all hours of the night. I am to blame to, called you some names I hope none of the old neighborhood heard, I’m sorry. Mom to. Words said in anger masked the love for you we share. We’ve hurt your feelings, made idle threats. If we could of only listened to you stumble in, fall down, throw up anywhere, and stayed in our room! You’d be happier, not feel so picked on, pressured to do what we thought was right.
I could apologize longer for holding you back from all those, what did we call them, dreams, but you get how bad we feel by now. You were always a smart one, knew it all, had it covered as you often said. I hope you don’t mind, we paid for your first, and last months rent anyway. Call us clingers or what ever you younger generation call us dithering old fools. We promise this is the last time we will meddle in your affairs, again, were sorry. Old habits are hard to break.
You will hear from us, and you know your Mom with postcards, as we travel from place to place in the new RV. What a beauty, all those gadgets and electronic things onboard you often said were needed, again our Son was Mr. Right! This thing practically drives itself, and your Mom’s starting to feel “At Home” behind the wheel. She had to admit it is better than the old needs something now house of thirty years. Paid that mortgage and taxes on time for all of them. You remember how many nights I worked two jobs and at times not enough time to hear you out? Poor excuse at the least, it was how we were raised, work hard and save. I had the working down, never could get the savings. You had to do without the latest craze, newest do hickey or whatever anyway. I tried hard, it was always something here or there to eat up any we put aside, except your college fund. You have to admit I did that for you at least.
Oh yea, back to the house, we sold it! As is! Even told them all that was wrong, showed them what still needed to be done, and they bought it anyway! It seems your old loser Dad did great by buying low, and selling high. If I knew back then how much money we’d have today, I’d of worked a third job and bought two of them. It’s going to be hard enough spending what we got, in the who knows how many years of retirement we’ll live. Those two jobs do that direct deposit thing every month faster than we can spend it.
Now without bills to worry about, paid cash for the RV, and talked that salesman down a bit, we took your advice to chill out. That means relax right? You kids and your new words for English, sure confuse a guy. Mom finally got that missing tooth we always pretended not to see when she asked. I have one of those debit cards, Mom too, again you were so right about their ease of use. Why carry a big wad of cash and risk it being stolen? The lady at the bank gave us one made out of gold, I swear before the Lord, real gold. Like Uncle Larry’s ring.
I can now understand why you didn’t want to be tied down, having your freedom is priceless, my Son the genius. Your Mom and I go out at night, or sleep till ten, sometimes eleven o’clock, what ever we want to do. Not something I have to do as you pointed out. I don’t blame you living the life of leisure while you could, I’d truly forgotten how good it feels. Mom gets on the CB and we meet up with other wanderers of the road as they refer to themselves, share stories and laugh for hours. I’m still a wizard of the flaming grill, only this one pops out from the side, not like the rusty one at home.
That reminds me, your at our old one now, take that chaise and cooler and stuff with you when you leave. The new owners a wood man, hates anything plastic, he’ll only toss it out. You could use it for one of those many friends to sleep over at the good old bachelor pad. Their all going to love it, except you may want to get a bigger fridge, you know how much hey like to eat. Mom said the big cabinet is a pantry, that’s why it has so many empty shelves to fill, you may want to get a second job. With the rent and utilities’ I often found it hard to restock, so buy store brand, your money goes farther. Sorry, old habit, last advice I promise. The key and directions are in that plastic folder with your birth certificate, and whatever paper work you had in the night stand.
We’ll your probably nodding of by now anyway so I won’t be much longer. Uncle Larry and Aunt Mary moved to that retirement village down in Florida last night, so they’ll mail you their new number when they get settled. Be sure to call on their birthdays and Christmas or no cookies this year from your aunt. I know you think Mr. Franks is a tough guy, but he promised us so long as your rents on time, he won’t beat your ass. He gave us his word, and we trust him, he’s just misunderstood. People blame him unfairly not knowing he does it to dead beats, not dreamers like you.
Mom sends her love, she‘ll send a postcard soon, so until next months letter, we’ll be praying as always for you. Love Dad, or as a new friend nick named me- “Never Back Track Jones”.